Owned by
Shara Smock, Visit the home of Scream of the Crop
http://www.screamofthecrop.com, from USA, Florida's Space Coast
Phrase Origin:
Loose Cannon – This
goes back to the days of sailing warships. If a cannon wasn’t tied down,
with the ship rolling in the seas, it could roll around on deck and kill
people and do other damage.
***
For today's cartoon, click here
http://screamofcrop.tripod.com/today7.html
****
Quotes:
Have your ancestors ever been
traced?
Yes, but they were too
smart. They couldn't catch 'em. -- Mae West in Goin' to Town
I wrote the story myself. It's all
about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it. -- Mae West
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From Sue:
How Many Dogs
Does It Take to Change A Light Bulb?
1. Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our
whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid
burned out bulb?
2. Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any wiring that's not
up to code.
3. Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
4. Rottweiler: Make me.
5. Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky toys in the dark.
6. Lab: Oh, me, me!!!!! Pleeeeeeeeeze let me change the light bulb! Can I?
Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I? Pleeeeeeeeeze, please, please, please!
7. German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led these people from the
dark, check to make sure I haven't missed any, and make just one more
perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take advantage of the
situation.
8. Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm bouncing off the
walls and furniture.
9. Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? I'm sorry, but I don't see a light
bulb?
10. Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the carpet in the
dark.
11. Chihuahua : Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
12. Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there ...
13. Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
14. Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs in a little
circle ...
15. Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and he'll do it. By
the time he finishes rewiring the house, my nails will be dry.
The Cat's Answer: "Dogs do not change light bulbs. People change light
bulbs. So, the real question is: How long will it be before I can expect
some light, some dinner, and a massage?"
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From
Dale:
Thoughts to ponder
1. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
2. I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with "Guess" on it. So I said,
"Implants?" She hit me.
3. I don't do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
4. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
5. I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
6. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
7. I don't approve of political jokes. I've seen too many of them get
elected.
8. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days
I've stayed alive.
9. Isn't having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing
section in a swimming pool?
10. Why is it that most nudists are people you don't want to see naked?
11. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
12. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom's wise words: "Don't
pick that up, you don't know where it's been!"
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Now that you've seen a
sample issue, you can check out these other goodies at this site:
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Cartoons gathered
from all over
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Links to other humor
sites
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See books
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